Annie Liao on Mental Resilience and the 3 AM Struggle

Dec 9

The Highlight Reel vs. The Reality

On social media, a funding announcement looks like a victory lap.

A photo of a smiling founder. A headline about a $1.75 million raise. A flood of champagne emojis and "Congratulations!" comments. To the outside observer, it looks like the finish line.

But for Annie Liao, the 24-year-old founder of the AI startup Build Club, the reality of that day did not look like a party. It looked like a test of endurance.

As she detailed in her recent essay for Business Insider, titled "I'm a female solo founder of an AI startup. It can be lonely, and I have to work hard to be taken seriously, but it's given me mental resilience," the actual experience of success is often much quieter and harder than the press release suggests.

The night before the announcement, Liao wasn't celebrating. She was sitting alone in her room at 3 AM. Her team of five employees, operating across different time zones, had gone to bed. There was no co-founder to turn to. There was just Annie, a broken Webflow landing page, and the overwhelming silence of the room.

"I remember sitting there and having a bit of a cry to myself," she told Business Insider.

It is a stark reminder that while funding is a milestone, it does not cure the isolation of leadership.

The Solo Founder Tax

We often glamorize the solo founder path. We view it as the ultimate badge of autonomy. And in many ways, it is. Liao notes the freedom of speed that comes with flying solo. She doesn't have to debate hiring decisions. She doesn't have to compromise on her vision. She can move with a velocity that larger, bureaucratic teams cannot match.

But there is a tax you pay for that speed. You pay for it in isolation.

Liao left a previous role as a Chief of Staff at a Series B startup before moving to San Francisco to build her own venture. At her old job, she saw three co-founders who relied on each other. If one was sick, the others picked up the slack. They shared the cognitive load. They shared the panic.

As a solo founder, you are the only pillar holding up the roof.

"The experience has been risky and exciting, but the reality is a lot harder than I thought it would be," she admits. There is no one to tap in when you are exhausted. There is no one to "jam ideas with" when you hit a wall.

The "Make-Under" and the Gender Bias

Beyond the loneliness of command, Liao also touched on a frustrating reality that many women in tech face: the pressure to "de-optimize" their image to be respected.

Liao revealed that as a female founder, she feels she has to take precautions that her male counterparts do not. She noted that when she attends tech events, she intentionally wears less makeup or dresses more casually. It is a calculated decision to avoid being dismissed.

"It's almost as though having time to be fashionable might make us seem like we're not serious enough founders," she explained.

She also highlighted the social barriers to closing deals. While male founders might grab drinks with investors to finalize a partnership, Liao feels hesitant to do the same, fearing it "might come across wrong." This invisible labor—the constant monitoring of how one is perceived—is an extra layer of work that women are forced to manage on top of building their AI startup.

Reframing the Struggle: Resilience as an Asset

So how do you survive the 3 AM moments and the unspoken biases without burning out?

According to Liao, you have to change the definition of the asset.

Most people think the startup is the asset. They sacrifice their health and sanity to build the company. Liao takes a different approach. She views herself as the project.

"I see this as a giant journey where I'm upskilling as a person," she said.

Every late night, every moment of doubt, and every crisis handled alone is not just "work." It is the construction of mental resilience. She isn't just building a company. She is building a version of herself that can handle the storm.

Her advice to other aspiring entrepreneurs is simple but necessary: "Don't underestimate yourself." The path is lonely, and the work is hard, but the resilience you build in the process is yours to keep.

This story is based on Annie Liao’s essay as told to Business Insider. You can read the original article, "I'm a female solo founder of an AI startup. It can be lonely, and I have to work hard to be taken seriously, but it's given me mental resilience," on their website.