Laura Yates is a break up & heartbreak coach in the UK
BASED IN THE UK
What do you do?
I am a coach, writer and speaker and I specialize in helping people through breakups and heartbreak. My core message is that breakups can be a catalyst for huge positive growth and change. I also offer dating coaching and much of this work is around helping people get back into dating after a breakup whilst ensuring they are also creating a lifestyle that means they are happy and fulfilled with their lives as an individual. I also do a great deal of work around helping people build their confidence, self-esteem and self-worth; things I know can plummet as a result of going through a breakup! In terms of my services, I offer one-on-one coaching via Skype and am about to launch an online course, which is a 7 step roadmap guiding people through a breakup. I also collaborate as a coach, writer and speaker with other companies, post frequently on my blog as well as guest posting for other sites including Match.com and The Metro. In addition, I have a newly released podcast called Let’s Talk Heartbreak where I delve into the empowering, unusual, inspiring and funny things people have done as a result of heartbreak!
Did you always know you wanted to be an entrepreneur?
I somehow always knew even when I was younger, that I wouldn’t end up in a ‘regular’ job. When I left school, I went into the world of theatre and commercial music where you really have to be a self-starter, passionate and very resilient. So I think harnessing those qualities then have helped my journey as an entrepreneur as it requires all of those things! I have had 9 to 5 jobs and despite learning a lot in a handful of them, I never felt quite ‘right’. My mum has an entrepreneurial side to her and my parents have always been incredibly supportive of my choices, which I feel very grateful for! My dad is even helping me with part of my business right now. I think the setbacks can be that unless you build a supportive community (can be online and offline), being an entrepreneur can be quite isolating so you have to be resourceful and find people like you so you can encourage and support each other. It’s also easy to have lots of ideas and lack focus about which ones to implement and how to carve out your time wisely (that is my experience anyhow!) By nature I’m interested in so many things and there are so many directions I could take my business in. So I have to be really strict with myself and stick to a plan! But that greater vision of being able to help more people whilst creating the type of life that allows me creativity, freedom and flexibility is what keeps me motivated. To be an entrepreneur you have to have that. You have to always push through the rough spells and be prepared to ride the waves.
Is it important to have mentors and mentor other people? Why?
Yes! I am such a strong believer in this and have found it has helped me in my business incredibly. As Tony Robbins says “Success leaves clues’ and that is so true. If you can find a mentor who has gone on the journey that you are on and who has achieved the things you want to achieve it eliminates a lot of the guesswork and you can learn what worked from them – and what didn’t. If you do work with a mentor though, it’s imperative that you put into action what they tell you to. It doesn’t mean you get shortcuts – you still have to do the work. But the work they advise you to do will probably get you to where you want to be quicker. They will also keep you focused and accountable. Even if you can’t find or afford a mentor in person, there are plenty of people you can learn from on the internet, on podcasts, in books, on YouTube – people and information is so accessible. Many people who I have never worked with or met I view as mentors too – in all fields of life whether it’s business or a specific part of business, fitness, health etc. You just have to be extra committed to putting what they advise into action if it really resonates with you. I think that being able to mentor others is therefore an amazing gift to offer and you definitely should if you are in a position to. I’m a strong believer in putting that positive, sharing energy out in the world!
Is it important to set goals or is it better to just “go with the flow”? What is your strategy?
Yes – setting goals is crucial and I learned this from experience! I used to be a ‘go with the flow, let’s see how things evolve’ type of person and needless to say, it was a big error! This leads to procrastination, lack of focus and an inability to measure and track progress and results. Your goals might end up changing along the way and that’s ok but setting them is so important so that you can stay on some sort of track. Otherwise it’s like driving somewhere with no destination. Not having goals can also make the end, grand vision seem even more overwhelming and unattainable than what it really is as without them, you have no strategy of what you need to do to reach it.
Someone once said that you can’t tell your big dreams to small minded people. Do you believe that it’s a true statement? Why do you think that people close to us don’t often believe in our dreams / don’t understand what we are trying to accomplish?
As an entrepreneur you are going to be incredibly passionate about what you do. And you should be as that is what will drive you! Sometimes when you tell people about what your do and your vision, they might not express the same level as excitement or passion as you and that can be disheartening. Believe me, when I tell people that I help people through breakups and how passionate I am about it, I’m often met with confused expressions!
But don’t take it personally because it doesn’t mean that your business or idea won’t be successful. Something that they are ridiculously passionate about might not resonate as much with you. So I think you always have to stick to your guns. Be open to receiving constructive feedback and choose not to let any negativity get you down if people try to belittle your dreams. Sometimes people can do this because it makes them feel uncomfortable for not having the motivation or courage to go after their own. I almost hate to use this expression but ‘keep doing you! You will likely come across people who want to put you down but that’s ok. Just keep doing your thing and keep your vision in sight. This is also why finding a community of likeminded people to spend some of your time with is so important as they will also help remind you of why you are doing what you are doing. You can all motivate and inspire each other.
I think it’s also important to be compassionate for other people too. Just because they don’t seem to have ‘huge’ goals or dreams that doesn’t mean that what they are doing in life is any less valuable. Different people want different things and that’s what makes the world so dynamic.
What is one (or more) piece of advice you can offer our readers and other entrepreneurs that are reading your interview? What is the most important to keep in mind?
If you have an idea, just go for it. Start with small steps towards the big vision. Do something you are passionate about because that is what will keep you inspired. Try and offer value to a specific niche of people as opposed to trying to offer something to everyone. A smaller pool of really engaged people is much more valuable than a sea of moderately engaged people! And don’t get overwhelmed by those who are doing incredible things and compare yourselves to them. The very best, most successful entrepreneurs out there are regular people too. They started small but had a vision, belief and drive (and probably a good mentor!) to get where they are. You can totally do that too. You don’t have to be an outsider looking in.