Lauren Brim is a Sexual Wellness Expert and the author of two books, The New Rules of Sex, a revolutionary 21st-century approach to sexuality, relationships, and love and The New American Family, modern stories of family formation. Lauren is passionate about helping people discover their sexual wholeness and the happiness and pleasure that come from eradicating sexual shame. Along with writing her third book, coaching her clients around the world and finishing her Ph.D., Lauren is also the proud mother of a two-year-old daughter, who she consciously choose to co-parent with a longtime platonic friend.
Success means... being happy in your day to day life.
Three adjectives that deserve me are... motivated, curious, passionate.
You can’t run a business without... being good at taking people's money in exchange for your work.
In the next 10 years I will be... writing more books and creating content and art that continues to support a new paradigm around sexuality, family and relationships.
What motivated you to become an entrepreneur? Is having your own business something you always wanted to have?
My parents were business owners, so entrepreneurship was always something very familiar to me, but the real desire for my own business came when I met this female business owner while I was living as a dancer in New York City. Here I was going from show to show, picking up catering jobs when I could, and working around the clock to keep my head above water, and she worked from home, traveled whenever she wanted, and made her own schedule. Luckily I befriended this woman and she became a mentor to me and taught me not only how to structure a business, but what true self-care looked like, how to take time to travel and enjoy life, and how to turn passion and creativity into income generation from services that brought value to people's lives. Once I saw what was possible, there was no turning back.
Do you have a fixed work routine? Is it important to have one? Any tips for our readers?
I have a very fluid work routine. Having a toddler has added more structure to life than I ever imagined would be possible for me, but fluidity is still really important. For me that means riding the waves of inspiration. If I feel inspired to write an article, versus working on another project, I will write it and see it to completion. Sometimes a project needs to stay open on my desk and I wander in and out of thinking about it, not quite ready to go there. But when I feel a rise of inspiration (sometimes catalyzed by a hard deadline) I take advantage of that wave and complete it. Completion is key, but riding waves of inspiration is important to maximize pleasure and productivity. I know some people believe in carving out hours to write or do specific tasks, but stepping out for a hike or lunch with a friend midday might be just the break I need to sit down ripe with inspiration to write another chapter or take on a the world.
What is one thing you find to be true that most people would disagree with?
That prioritizing pleasure can get so much done! I grew up in the eighties with a "no pain, no gain" mentality and I know a lot of business people that wrap up their identity in working all the time. I personally believe that when we prioritize pleasure and give ourselves permission to enjoy, we naturally find work that is pleasurable, and we get more done from that head and heart space. Pleasure is often a dirty word for Americans, but I've got a heavy dose of European from my mother's side, and it's always been easy for me to enjoy the sensuality of life as suppose to identifying with a more Puritanical work ethic.
What are some pros and cons of having (OR not having) entrepreneurial parents?
I had entrepreneurial parents and I consider it a definite advantage. It gives you a framework where working for yourself and bringing your heart, creativity and passion to your business is the norm, rather than clocking in and out for someone else and growing their business for a standard paycheck. I remember the excitement of my parents launching their business when I was a kid, and how eager I was to be a part of it -- watering the plants, helping the admin with the filing, and washing coffee cups in the kitchen sink. It was so exciting to have a place that was "ours" and I still have that joy of ownership, except now it's my own business that I get to take pride in, tend, and feed with my passion, energy and attention. I also learned from them that you can't let your business take over your life. My father spent way to much time at the office, not because he had to, but because he was very money-driven to try to get approval from his father. I never want making money to interfere with time with family, pleasurable activities like travel, and great self-care. What's the point of having your own business then?
What is your proudest accomplishment of this year? What are you looking forward the most in the next 12 months?
My proudest accomplishment of this year is nearing completion on my Ph.D. in human sexuality. Both of my parents have their doctorate, and it has always been a goal of mine. Plus I have been passionate about the subject of sexuality for years, so why not make myself an expert! In the next 12 months I look forward to getting back to writing books, creating new content for www.LaurenBrim.com, and working with more clients who want to rewrite the rules of their sex and relationships to find more passion, happiness, and growth in these crazy modern times we live in. Plus I have my own sex, family and relationships to enjoy with ever-growing appreciation, wonder and love.